i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
I’m in bed. I want to sleep. I need to sleep….but lately I’ve been having really weird vivid dreams and I keep dreaming about Dean Martin but they are weird dreams like he is there but not but he is bringing me places and showing me things that aren’t always so good so I wake up a ton…I don’t know why Dean is doing this to me too…I need to dream of someone other then just Dean though it is nice when Jerry pops up…but seriously I just want one decent night of sleep…..
I feel so awkward on facebook because I’m torn between about 5 different worlds. Facebook is basically something I do when I am bored out of my mind and I sort of stick to a tiny little corner alone but the problem is I have family members from all over on there and half of my family is EXTREMELY conservative…and I mean extremely…to the point they make me genuinely uncomfortable…but then I have some that are so far on the other spectrum and way too over the top liberal that it makes me extremely uncomfortable to…
I am a rare breed, I am.
I am what I refer to as (it used to exist doesn’t really anymore) a conservative liberal, because that’s what I am when it all comes down to it. I don’t like to go to far either way….but I have to say the conservative side of my family is much worse because they are creepy preachy (half of them belong to a cult LOL) anyway the whole reason this post exists is my cousin went under the knife today to find out if she had cancer. The results aren’t in but they are apparently optimistic (thankfully) now…here’s my dilemma. I clearly despite our differences don’t want her to have cancer or anything and I’ve attempted to express this towards her however everyone including herself is demanding peoples prayers and every single person (and holy crap is there a lot of people) are “sending prayers” and other stuff like that and it goes against my nature to say such things in fact I actually despise it. I’m not anti-religious really (though my personal beliefs I suffer through because they change constantly and contradict one another and confuse the hell out of me to the point where I just say I believe in all religions and none at all…but still refer to myself as a Catholic as I believe being raised as a Catholic is essentially a heritage all it’s own.) I just REALLY hate when people pray for others health or whatever. It’s probably a ridiculous fear to have. Praying…but essentially that’s what it is…a fear. People say that to me all the time in my family (i’ve even had friends) and I’m just like, No thank you. I don’t want your prayers. Please don’t bother. I feel like I am suffocating the minute someone says that to me and when I respond to others where everyone is saying that I feel so awkward because my good luck wishes are totally different and I fee like these people are looking at me like why am I not being supportive and I don’t know I just feel really lost for words. People literally demanding prayers out of others. I saw one of my cousins post, “Come on everyone…let’s keep these prayers going!!!” then I am there.
Ever conflicted over my personal beliefs and my personal emotions.
I only enjoy talking about religion in a non-spirtitual, historical, rational way.